SELF-CARE is ESSENTIAL, not selfish (9/2024)

Hello and welcome (back) to my blog, dear friends!

Today im back with another calendar, as important as the 1st one I published earlier this month. Because it promotes the idea of self-care and self-compassion. Which, as selfish as it may sound to some, it\’s actually ESSSENTIAL for our well-being.

What is SELF-CARE?

Self-care is many things, and this list is not at all complete:

• moving, taking a walk every day
• drinking water and eating well
• practicing our hobbies
• meeting our friends and family
• being mindful – when we are in nature, when we eat, when we do what we love
• focussing on progress, not on perfection
• letting go of self-criticism
• saying NO when we feel our boundaries are being pushed
• LOVING ourselves just the way we are, because
• WE ARE ENOUGH

I know the way we have been raised and the society we live in don\’t really encourage this way of thinking. But, luckily, psychology has evolved a lot lately and and more and more studies support the idea of self-care, mindfulness and positivity. Because it\’s not enough to feel that we are \”NOT suffering\”. The aim is for us to be thriving, not striving.

So especially when we go through a rough patch, it\’s very important that we don\’t deny or ignore our difficult emotions. The idea is to try and see if it\’s ok for us to accept those difficult emotions – and actually ALL the emotions – that we have. And to talk kindly and lovingly to ourselves, just like we would to a loved one. And to admit that we are only human and that no life is free of suffering. And that we will get through it and tomorrow will be better. That is self-compassion. But we will talk about this in a different article, if you are interested. And until then, you will find a video on my YT channel.

SELF-CARE implies – at least – the character strength of Love. Because Love means to offer gentleness, warmth and care not only to others, but to ourselves as well.

I would dare say that Perseverance plays an important role in the way we practice self-care. Because, in order to see results, self-care needs to be a ritual. And for this we need to be persistent in implementing our habits, especially when, for various objective reasons, we don\’t feel like it. Say you started meditating and you can feel the benefits already. But there are days when you are really tired when you get home and feel like taking it easy in front of your favourite TV series instead of meditating. And, believe me, I know how strong these urges are and how strong inertia is – because many times inertia is the only culprit. What can I advise you to do in these cases? And I should take my own advice too :)). Try to see if you can quickly sum up the biggest 3 advantages you noticed in your life since you started this new ritual. And then SUBTRACT those advantages from your life and see how you would feel without them.

And im here to let you know that im as flawed as the next person. In my case it\’s the mindfulness meditation that I\’ve been struggling with in these last months. I\’ve been doing it daily for 9 months and I gave it up because I was feeling good and safe again – don\’t do this, no matter how good you feel. Now im trying to restart the daily practice and im struggling. Im aware how much it helps me, but I have actually never taken the time to SUBTRACT those benefits from my life.

So in case Self-care is new to you, this calendar is here to help you practice it every day for a month. And I know it comes in the middle of the month, but no one says you can\’t enjoy 2 things per day, so why limit ourselves to just one?

Now, as a certified positive psychology coach, I am here to help you discover what brings you joy. The things you \”burn\” for, your interests, hobbies and/or passions. I will be your guide on the path of understanding and applying your values and strengths for a balanced life, filled with more enthusiasm, sense of purpose and fulfillment. Hoping I brought a bit more excitement about your day, im looking forward to meeting you, so we can discover together how you can live the life YOU want, from a position of strength.

Remember, 2024 will be (y)our BEST year yet ;)!

Until next time, stay positive and take care of yourselves!